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Changing Colors and Letting Things Go

10/22/2022

Have you seen all of the things on social media and elsewhere about the beauty and symbolism of falling leaves?

Basically, we're being reminded of the fact that each year, at the appointed time, trees lose their leaves.

What's this got to do with us?
It highlights the need for us to take a moment to evaluate our lives and determine if there are some things we're holding onto that need to be let go. Some beliefs, some attitudes, some prejudices, dare I say some people, really have no place in our new season and need to be let go. And speaking of people...

Think about how the leaves change color just before they're let go
Some people change colors on us, don't they? I can't be the only one who thought a friend was a friend til you found out they weren't. You know, they seemed one way one day, and the next day they're just different.  They have, in essence, changed their colors. So maybe, like the tree, we need to drop them and let them blow away in the wind. That's not mean, that's self-preservation.

Our greatest success and brightest, most dazzling SPARKLE comes when our environment supports our peace, our self-esteem, and the plans God has for our lives. And if we're holding onto anything that isn't in sync with that, let's pray about finally letting that thing or that person go.

It's a new season and the trees are acting accordingly. We should, too.

There's a thing called...

10/22/2022

When we feel our backs up against the wall… when we feel that no one cares… when we find it difficult to keep on keeping on…

There’s a thing called hope.
And it is what gives us the strength and the courage to face another day.

On October 29th and 30th experts from around the country are gathering online for a virtual retreat titled Finding Hope in Times of Challenge. I think you’ll agree that the timing couldn’t be better.

The event is being sponsored by the Global Coach Community and one of their members is a part of our SparkleGram community. Because she knows we’re about SPARKLE, joy, and all things positive, she’s extending an invitation to each of you to be a part of this excitement – for FREE. While donations are encouraged, you don’t have to pay a thing. And you have nothing to lose except for that feeling of hopelessness that can be so pervasive these days.

Click here to get the details, including times, topics, and the impressive speaker line-up. This is a wonderful way to spend a weekend –– or even just a few hours -- from the convenience from your own home.

I’ll be making a donation on behalf of the SparkleGram community, so I encourage you to take advantage of this powerful and unique opportunity.

You can take what you learn at this virtual retreat to help ensure that your SPARKLE is bright and your story is full of happiness and hope. Remember, I'll soon be offering you a chance to share your story in a published book that will be sold on Amazon. Details to come.

"They said I couldn't do it"

10/10/2022

I've known this young man all of his life. He was born with a few challenges, but nothing that God's love and family support couldn't conquer. And, against the odds, he was recently accepted into the college of his choice and is majoring in something that I can barely pronounce. Something about aviation.

When he told the story of his college acceptance and all of the wonderful things ahead of him, he said proudly stated, "They said I couldn't do it!"
Just hearing this brought tears to my eyes
Instead of being discouraged by society's perception of what he could achieve, he used the world's doubt to propel him toward his goal. Isn't that awesome? And he's now working with children who are also challenged to help them reach their full potential.

I see two important lessons in this for us
Lesson #1: As women "of a certain age" we still have some goals we're striving for, right? And while the world, or maybe even that tiny voice that lives inside of our heads, could be saying we can't do it, that's nonsense! The Bible, as well as this young man's example, tell us that that we can do ALL things.

Lesson #2: This young man is a significant source of inspiration to those around him. Why? Because he hasn't been afraid to tell his story. And I would imagine that he is changing the lives of the children he works with because they must see themselves in him. I imagine them thinking that if he can get good grades in high school and go to college, one day, they can, too.

Who knows YOUR story?

Who has benefitted because you've shed some light of something you've lived through? There is life-changing power and undeniable SPARKLE in your story, please don't be afraid to share it.

You don't have to tell all of your business, but if you've been blessed enough to overcome, you owe it help the next sister do the same.

You'll soon be hearing about our third anthology project and this will be a great way for you to craft and tell your story in a published book. Let me know if you want the details.

Here's My "Why"

10/3/2022

As you may know, I just recently completed a 6-session course during which I guided women through the process of writing and publishing their own books. One of the most interesting sessions involved them revealing the "why" behind their desires to become an author. Uncovering your "why" can help to keep you motivated and often be what's needed to propel you toward success.

I thought today, October 3rd, would be the perfect day to share with you my "why". Why I created the SPARKLE community and why I care so much about each of you who are a part of it.

If you've ever heard me speak or if you've read my book, Sparkle in the Rain, you know that I survived a very difficult divorce. I haven't been shy about sharing my story because I know that others are helped and healed by my testimony.
How do I know?
I'm so sure of this because each time I speak, at the end of the session, women come up to me telling me of their own experiences and how my story encouraged them. And people who have read my book have told me how they saw themselves in those pages and how it helped to know that they weren't the only ones going through a difficult time.

Not everyone was dealing with divorce but, in each case, these were Christian women of "a certain age" who felt lost, abandoned, and betrayed by a certain scenario that they never imagined would be a part of their life's story. They could relate to me and I could relate to them. We were bound together like a sisterhood of women who were determined to bounce back and allow our lights to shine before men that they could see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven. This, as you probably know, is a paraphrase of our theme Scripture found in Matthew 5:16. And I suggest that because we've been through the fire and come out better than we were when we went in, our light ought to be so bright that we SPARKLE!

So why did I create the SPARKLE Community?
I created our SPARKLE Community because I know that women benefit from relationships with other women. When we share experiences, conversation, and laughter, we're made the better for it.

My "why" revolves around my desire to create a space, as well as products and services, that allow women to feel a sense of belonging and I want you to know that your voice and your experiences matter.

I hope you'll talk back
Please feel free to respond to the SparkleGrams when something hits you. Tell me what you think and I'll share it here or in our Facebook group. If you're not a part of our Facebook group yet, I invite you to join today. I just renamed the group, we are now Women Who Sparkle. (Let me know if you can't find us using this link.)

Nineteen years ago today
My father passed away on October 3, 2003, 19 years ago today. While my warm and wonderful memories of him are too numerous to count, I will never forget him always encouraging me to try. "Gail, just try", I can still hear him telling me that.

It is in his memory that I've chosen to share with you today my "why" and my rededication to trying my best to always make you happy that you're a part of our community. If I fall short, feel free to tell me.

But enough about me...
What's YOUR why? What motivates you to do the things that you do? How can we help you reach your next level of happiness and success?

As I see it, when my light touches your light, and your light touches my light, something powerful happens. And if the world ever needed the power of our light and our SPARKLE, it needs it now.

Same story, different setting, beautifully unique

9/26/2022

A few months ago I went to New York City to see the play TINA on Broadway. Just a few days ago I saw the play in my hometown of Washington, DC.

The same story was told on both stages, but they were in very different settings in terms of location, cast, band, audience, etc. And, while the vibes attached to each performance were not the same, I enjoyed them both. Each was beautifully unique as we witnessed Ella Mae Bullocks' rise to stardom and saw her become Tina Turner.

This reminds me of our stories
When I first started speaking about my divorce, my coach asked me in a very nice way, "So what?" She wanted to know why I felt my story was worth telling since so many women have lived through divorce.

It was then that I had to learn to articulate why my story was worth talking about. You see, no one had experienced divorce quite like I'd experienced it. They were not in my exact setting or situation, and that's what made my story different and beautifully unique.

Maybe this is something you're struggling with today
Maybe you think your story isn't worth sharing because your situation is one that others have also experienced. But please understand that no one on planet Earth experienced it the way that you did. While yours, like mine, may be a familiar tale, no one can tell it like you can.  And someone is waiting to hear about that experience from you.

It's true. Someone won't "get it" unless YOU tell it.
And just like the two TINA productions were both great, both beautifully unique, there should be no competition or comparison when it comes to your story.

Your story doesn't have to be the one with the greatest tragedy or the most dramatic comeback, the world just needs to hear, in your own unique voice, what you've experienced. In fact, maybe you've been blessed to have dodged the bullets that life can send our way, that's a story worth sharing, too! Who doesn't want to hear about something upbeat and positive?

I encourage you to start looking for opportunities to help others by sharing your story. Not all of the dirty details, but share just enough to help someone get to the other side of "through."

And if you want to learn about how your story can be published in Volume III of Living In The Key of Joy, let me know. Plans are underway and details will be shared soon. There is a financial investment involved, but many authors make it all back in book sales. Don't worry, I'll schedule a Zoom call soon to give you all the specifics.  Click here to send me a note if you want to learn more.

Give it some thought. And, in the meanwhile, I hope you'll bask in the blessings of your story and use it to fuel you toward all the SPARKLE that God has in store for you.

This Is What We Prayed For

6/7/2022

I saw this recently on Facebook and it caused me to pause.

I'm not sure who wrote it, and I now know that it has been circulating on social media for quite some time, but it really spoke to me. Maybe it will speak to you, too.

"I feel like I am constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that I'm right in the middle of what I used to look forward to."

For me, I'd just change "what I used to look forward to" to "what I prayed for."

You too?
Certainly all isn't perfect in our lives, but I know we're proof of some prayers heard and prayers answered. I'm grateful.

There's a Day for Everything

5/16/2022

Today is National Pickle Day. Yep. It’s true. Ask Google.
When I learned a few weeks ago that we had a "Eat What You Want Day" I thought I’d heard it all. But that was before I realized that May 16, 2022 is National Pickle Day.
And you know what this tells me?
It tells me that you can declare a day about anything. So now, with the power vested in me by no one in particular, I declare today to be… drumroll please… I hope you're ready… you may be able to guess… but wait. Today is…

National Sparkle Day!!
Yes, this is a day dedicated to identifying and celebrating the light that shines within you; that thing that makes you the wonderful woman you are.

As you may have heard me say, the idea of sparkling is rooted in the Scripture found in Matthew 5:16:

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

As women of a “certain age” I say that we’ve lived long enough to have experienced enough to have a light that’s so bright that we sparkle. And I think you should share your sparkle with others. How? By telling your story.

“But I don't want to tell all of my business!”
I hear you. We were raised during a time when you kept your business in the house, right? You wore a smile, no matter what, even when that smile masked deep discontent. You just didn't share your personal story.

I believe that “sharing is caring” and I think you do yourself and others a disservice when you don’t talk about the tools you used and the lessons you learned during the difficult times of your life. No one really needs to hear the dirty details of what you’ve gone through, folks are too busy dealing with their own issues. But I do think that you should share the blessing your breakthrough.

Tell a sister how you handled grief or unemployment or divorce or bankruptcy or being a single parent or sickness… the list goes on. Let her know that she’s not alone. Let her see your sparkle and be encouraged by the light that shines from within you.

Today, on National Sparkle Day, I suggest you do two things...

1. Embrace the value of your story. Write it down. Keep it ready to share when someone needs it. Vow to be someone else’s crib notes. Be her example to follow.

2. Celebrate. Every woman over 50 has survived something, so celebrate yourself today! Recognize that you're a smart, creative, beautiful, worthy, walking and talking miracle! You SPARKLE from the inside out and you wear your SPARKLE well. That's something to celebrate!

I Never Didn't Know

5/16/2022

My mind is still blown by the horrible, hateful act against the community in Buffalo. I'm not sure that anything has opened America's eyes to racism as widely since the murder of George Floyd.

Back then I wrote a piece that spoke to how I, as a Black woman, have always felt the sting of racism and how it surprised me that well-meaning (and some not so well-meaning) people expressed sentiments suggesting that this was something new. It initially bothered me when I learned that work colleagues found this piece online and commented on it, but then it didn't. Because maybe they needed to read it. They needed to know. I'd like to share this piece with you today.

I Never Didn't Know

Reading and hearing what white people are saying about racism right now is rather interesting to me. I know they mean well, I know that their hearts are in the right place, yet I find some of their responses to the killing of George Floyd and to the riots in the aftermath… well, I find them interesting.

It’s as if they just woke up and realized what I never had the luxury of not knowing. I never didn’t know that America wasn’t a fan of mine or of people who look like me.

I never didn’t know that there were people who would take one look at me and decide who I was simply based upon the color of my skin.

I never didn’t know that my master’s degree would put me on par with white colleagues with a BA.

I never didn’t know that my ability to do a good job, to write a good report, to maneuver through a difficult project would be questioned because I’m a Black woman in a white world.

I never didn’t know.

I never didn’t know that I could be followed or asked to show ID in a store because of what my skin color represents to some store managers.

I never didn’t know that my hairstyles would be questioned and judged.

I never didn’t know that I wouldn’t be welcomed in some neighborhoods.

I never didn't know that I might not always get the best seat or get the best service in restaurants I spent my money in.

I just never didn’t know.

So for white people to now tell me how sorry they feel for me, well, I’m not sure how to take that. Because my life has been fine. I've managed.

Please don't feel sorry for me. Save your sorry for the families that have lost loved ones while I've just simply been slighted, ignored, overlooked, and insulted.

Save it for the people of my mother's generation who thought that their marching and sitting was so that their children and grandchildren wouldn't have to witness the atrocities we're seeing today.

Save your sorry for the young Black adults who don't yet understand that no matter how much Starbucks coffee they drink, they are still Black folks in a white world and pray that when their eyes open to this fact, it won't be too painful.

Save it for them, cause I'm good.

Sure, there certainly is a lot of room for improvement and there are things I've seen and endured that I hope the next generation won't have to experience. But understand me when I say that this is all I've ever known and I'm OK.

You see, I never knew how not to be comfortable in my skin... never knew how not to turn the other way when an insult was hurled my way... never knew how not to just deal with it. I know I have my parents and my upbringing to thank for that. And I'm grateful.

So, white people, please understand me. I'm not suggesting that your comments right now are anything but sincere. I know they are and I appreciate them. But it just feels a little odd. You're just acknowledging what I've lived with my entire life. How could our realities be so very, very different?

Thank you for finally getting it. But for me? Its been my life.

I never didn't know.

Just To Have A Laugh Or Sing A Song

5/2/2022

One day last week I was sitting at my computer doing what I do for “the man” and I got a text from a dear childhood friend. The message was asking if I and another dear friend from our childhood were available to meet her on a Zoom call that evening. We both said we were available.

All day I wondered what this was about

I fully expected it to be bad news. I mean, why else would she be reaching out, wanting to connect with us on that very same day? I’ve known this girl for over 50 years and she’s never done anything like this, so I expected the worse.

I assumed that she was sick or someone we knew was sick. Or maybe someone had passed away. Or maybe she was having serious personal problems. Or maybe she was leaving the area. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good, at least that’s what I thought.

When the time arrived for the Zoom gathering I tentatively logged on. I was trying to prepare myself for whatever she had to share and I was determined to be positive and supportive.

The conversation started with the usual pleasantries and eventually she got to the topic she wanted to discuss with us.

To my surprise…

She wanted to share a laugh and sing a song. Literally.

She sang a song from our elementary school days and we laughed until we cried. It was the most amazing Zoom meeting ever! And I was reminded of the song we heard at the end of every episode of The Carol Burnett Show. If you’re of a "certain age", you may remember it:

I’m so glad we’ve had this time together
Just to have a laugh or sing a song
Seems we just get started and before you know it
Comes the time we have to say
So long

I hope my friends know how much that gathering meant to me. And it encourages me to reach out to folks I know just to have a laugh and sing a song. Because you know what?

We never know when we’ll have to say, so long.

She's In!

4/11/2022

Whatever your political views or affiliation, you have to admit this one thing:

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is amazing!

The poise she showed during the confirmation hearings -- in the face of silly questions, dismissive attitudes, and subjective criticisms -- was beyond admirable. I watched parts of the spectacle, but there were times when I had to turn the TV channel because I couldn’t stand to watch. It was painful.

Yet, she didn’t have that ability, did she? Judge Brown Jackson couldn’t “change the channel.” She had to stay there and listen and respond and try not to cuss or cringe. She is my hero.

How many times have we wished we could “change the channel” when life was handing us something we didn’t want to accept? I know how that feels. And I’d wager to bet that you do, too. Life has taught us that sometimes we can't go around our issues, we have to go through them.

I think almost every woman over 50 knows what that feels like.

And it’s not a good feeling. Knowing that you are smarter, wiser, more competent, and more deserving than you’re being given credit for, that can hurt.

I hope Judge Brown Jackson went home the night after the final hearing and had a good laugh. Because now we know that the joke was on those who tried to make her feel less than the remarkable woman that she is.

I'm not sure I realized the magnitude of her appointment to the Supreme Court until a family member sent me a short video of the moment her teenage daughter heard the news. Just hearing that girl exclaim "Mommy, she's in!" made me pause.

Shortly thereafter a good friend sent me a clip of her daughter's interview on the local news. This girl, a high school senior, stated that Judge Jackson's appointment gives her "an essence of boldness" and it gives her "comfort." This really is a very big deal.

Keep sparkling, Judge Brown Jackson! When you shine, we all shine... and we couldn’t be more proud of you!