| Diary of a Grown-Up Church Girl |
From my heart...to my head... to my pen... to my blog.
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 Have you ever gotten deep into a discussion with yourself and then with someone else, based completely on inaccurate information, yet you formed and opinion and dwelled upon it and passed judgement and then found out that you really didn’t know what you were talking about and that you really should have shut up?
Or am I the only one?
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 I really don’t want to preach, I don’t like the sound or the thought of myself preaching to you. That’s not what I want this blog to be about.
But sometimes, on some days, I have to preach. And today is one of those days. My pastor said something on Sunday and a friend said something on yesterday that got me to thinking. And as I find myself thinking about it and writing about it, I sound as if I’m preaching. I’m sorry, but here it goes… The best weapon we have against the bad, evil, and unpleasant things in our lives is our story. Let me explain what I mean… This friend I just mentioned has a wonderful, life-changing event taking place. She’s selling her home and moving out of state. She recently had a bit of a setback that could have been discouraging and, for some, downright devastating. Now, she’s human, so she did get a little down, a tad bit worried, and I’m sure that she questioned her decision. But then she thought about her story. She thought about other predicaments she’s found herself in over the years and how God did what He does and saw her through. And because of the story she has of how He blessed her before, she could look this challenge square in the face and in the words of Tri Tribbett’s song, truly believe without a shadow of a doubt that “if He did it before, He can do it again!” She’s doing what she needs to fight back and she’s using her story as her weapon! Now I’m going to get personal. Some of you know, my divorce was a living hell. Lies and deception all over the place, broken promises, severed relationships, court dates, money and time wasted, it was horrible. But now I can see that it was just timber for my testimony! And it has given me a story that I can use to fight any future challenge. In other words, I can look a problem in the face and hold my story up as a shield. I can tell it to “look carefully at what I’ve ALREADY been through, check out how I survived, admire how I made it, and then back up off of me! You cannot beat me because I will fight you with my story and I will prove to you that NO WEAPON formed against me shall prosper!” If you want to get Biblical (I told you I was preaching today, sorry) you know that the New Testament is full of stories of people who sought Jesus’ help because they saw what He did for someone else. So even if you personally haven’t had something difficult happen that provided you with a story of your own, your story can be what you witnessed someone else go through. But, at this stage of life, who doesn’t have a story? Who hasn’t been through something and come out on the other side stronger and wiser? I’m just writing to encourage you to use that story as your weapon. And, if you’d like, share a little of your story here. It might be just what someone else needs to hear today. JOIN ME on Facebook at Diary of a Grown-Up Church Girl FOLLOW ME Twitter at GrownChurchGirl I'm on INSTAGRAM but not enough to mention here. I’m no stranger to death. It seems that all my life, folks around me have been passing away. If it wasn’t a relative, it was a church member or the family member of a church member. Then I went through a phase when a lot of my friends and associates were losing their parents. While these were all difficult, they were somewhat expected. You know what I mean? People get old and they die. That’s the way of the world, plant a flower grow a pearl… excuse me, I digress. But when a peer passes, it feels very different. My choir sister died today. Wow, I said it… she “died.” That’s a word I rarely use. “Passed away” sounds softer to me. To say that someone “died” is so hard, so definite, so ugly to me. Maybe it’s because to say that a person passed away, it sorta feels to me as though they've passed from this life to go to another. But when we say that a person died, it feels more… dead. Like never to live again, like finite. Crazy, perhaps, but that’s how I feel. Anyway, said another way, my preferred way, my choir sister passed away today. She’d been sick, we were all trying to prepare ourselves, but when I got the news today it still hurt. She’d just retired a few years ago, was losing weight and growing her hair out, had a boyfriend, life was going well for her and just seeing her always made me smile. But then she got sick. And then she passed away. Wasn’t she too young to die? Too happy to be permanently and completely subdued? Too vibrant to have her light turned off? Why did she have to die? I try my best to look for the message or lesson in every unpleasant or crazy situation, yet finding one this time has been difficult. That being said… As I wrote in an earlier blog post, I’m recognizing, once again, that sometimes God says no. And it’s a lie to tell people that whatever they ask God for, He will provide. That’s simply not true and we need to stop spreading that fairy tale. You see, while others were praying that my friend be comfortable and free of pain, I was praying for a miracle. Yep, I was praying that she’d have a complete turnaround. As I shared with God, she would have been the perfect candidate for such a miracle because she’d be sure to testify to His goodness. “You’ll get the glory, God,” I explained, in my ignorant, limited, human way, “this is a good situation to turn around for good." See, I totally buy into the fact that we should ask God for what you want, and I wanted my friend to live – so that’s what I prayed for. God answered my prayer. But the answer was “no.” Now what? Now I trust. Now I rest. Now I heal. I trust in a God that never fails – no matter what the situation looks like. I rest on His promises, knowing that my friend is now resting with Him. I heal, knowing that that’s what my friend would want for all of us who are mourning her loss. OK, I'm finished, there's no fancy wrap up here, I’m not feeling it today. So here it goes... The End. Well, maybe not. Maybe it would be more appropriate to end with "New Beginning." My choir sister's day began in the arms of her Heavenly Father. And now my choir members and I begin a new chapter of singing without her. JOIN ME on Facebook at Diary of a Grown-Up Church Girl FOLLOW ME Twitter at GrownChurchGirl I'm on INSTAGRAM but not enough to mention here. |
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