Can we talk honestly, just between me and you?
Today I'm not sparkling too brightly. And I'm sharing this with you because I know I'm not the only one who sometimes finds it difficult to shine.
Three close friends of mine died during the month of January. I lost them between January 19th and January 27th. In 8 days I lost 3 friends. These were not casual acquaintances, these women were close and very important to me.
One I met in college when we were both 18 years old and our sisterhood grew tighter with each passing year. Another was a woman I met at church and had grown to love over the 30+ years of our relationship. And the third was a relatively new friend of about 10 years, an especially kind woman, club member, and one of the most loyal supporters of the work I do.
Two of these women had been very ill, yet I was trusting God for a miracle. The other's passing was a total and complete surprise.
But what I want to sort through, with your help, is how you feel when you've prayed about something and God simply says "no." "No, I will not heal your friend. No, she will not be the recipient of one of my miracles. No, her time here is up. Just no."
I heard a sermon once that God will never give you a "no" without also giving you an "instead." Interesting. I mean, I guess it can be comforting to know that God's answers are complete. He doesn't leave us hanging. He gives us an "instead" as an alternative. OK. Whatever. I kinda get it, I kinda don't.
See, I think this makes perfect sense when you've been praying for a particular job and you don't get it, but the next month you get a better job. Or when you've been praying for a man and you think you've found the perfect one, but the feelings aren't mutual. So you sulk and feel badly, and then God blesses you with a much more appropriate (and handsome and rich and funny... excuse me, I'm getting off track) Prince Charming. In these instances, I completely understand the idea of "instead." But when you lose three important people in your life, that message doesn't quite cut it.
Tell me, what do YOU do when God says no?
For me, I'm learning to lean into Him more closely. While the reality of the matter is that I'm upset and disappointed by what God has allowed to happen, I realize that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9). In some ways I feel like a child who is upset with a parent, but knows that they depend upon that parent for everything. They can't allow themselves to be too upset, because their life depends upon them. So, while I cannot pretend to understand why God took my friends from me, I can only trust Him. Even in the midst of my confusion and despair. Even while it hurts.
Through this experience the value of time has been amplified for me. We think we have plenty of it, but do we? Now is the time to take a hard look of our to-do lists and start checking some things off.
What's that thing you want to do but keep putting off?
Is there a friend you need to call? A place you want to visit? A hair style you want to try? A book you need to write? Trust me, January has taught me that the time to do these things is now.
While my sparkle may be a little dim today, I'm thankful that it is not completely out. With God's help, I'll use my time wisely, reignite the sparkle, and continued with my assignment. I wish the same for you.
Today I'm not sparkling too brightly. And I'm sharing this with you because I know I'm not the only one who sometimes finds it difficult to shine.
Three close friends of mine died during the month of January. I lost them between January 19th and January 27th. In 8 days I lost 3 friends. These were not casual acquaintances, these women were close and very important to me.
One I met in college when we were both 18 years old and our sisterhood grew tighter with each passing year. Another was a woman I met at church and had grown to love over the 30+ years of our relationship. And the third was a relatively new friend of about 10 years, an especially kind woman, club member, and one of the most loyal supporters of the work I do.
Two of these women had been very ill, yet I was trusting God for a miracle. The other's passing was a total and complete surprise.
But what I want to sort through, with your help, is how you feel when you've prayed about something and God simply says "no." "No, I will not heal your friend. No, she will not be the recipient of one of my miracles. No, her time here is up. Just no."
I heard a sermon once that God will never give you a "no" without also giving you an "instead." Interesting. I mean, I guess it can be comforting to know that God's answers are complete. He doesn't leave us hanging. He gives us an "instead" as an alternative. OK. Whatever. I kinda get it, I kinda don't.
See, I think this makes perfect sense when you've been praying for a particular job and you don't get it, but the next month you get a better job. Or when you've been praying for a man and you think you've found the perfect one, but the feelings aren't mutual. So you sulk and feel badly, and then God blesses you with a much more appropriate (and handsome and rich and funny... excuse me, I'm getting off track) Prince Charming. In these instances, I completely understand the idea of "instead." But when you lose three important people in your life, that message doesn't quite cut it.
Tell me, what do YOU do when God says no?
For me, I'm learning to lean into Him more closely. While the reality of the matter is that I'm upset and disappointed by what God has allowed to happen, I realize that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9). In some ways I feel like a child who is upset with a parent, but knows that they depend upon that parent for everything. They can't allow themselves to be too upset, because their life depends upon them. So, while I cannot pretend to understand why God took my friends from me, I can only trust Him. Even in the midst of my confusion and despair. Even while it hurts.
Through this experience the value of time has been amplified for me. We think we have plenty of it, but do we? Now is the time to take a hard look of our to-do lists and start checking some things off.
What's that thing you want to do but keep putting off?
Is there a friend you need to call? A place you want to visit? A hair style you want to try? A book you need to write? Trust me, January has taught me that the time to do these things is now.
While my sparkle may be a little dim today, I'm thankful that it is not completely out. With God's help, I'll use my time wisely, reignite the sparkle, and continued with my assignment. I wish the same for you.
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