This past Friday was Good Friday and I went to a 7 Last Words service with my brother.  It's become a tradition and is something that I look forward to and really enjoy.

This year the messages were about a 6 out of 10, I suppose, but one message stood out to both of us as a 10+.

This minister preached the 5th word -- Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?

I've heard it preached before, of course, but never like it was preached this night.

The minister began by stating that the devil was no longer his problem -- God was.  And he said that sometimes, God gets on his nerves.

Well, the church girl in me wanted to clutch my pearls and run out of the building before lightening struck.  But I didn't run.  I listened.  And what this man said was nothing but the absolute truth.

He said that there are times when God asks us to do something or say something -- or not do something or say something -- that is completely contrary to our own wishes.

"Why do I have to go there, God?  Can I just stay home? "

"Why do I have to forgive him, God?  He was the wrong one!" 

"Why do I have to speak to her, God?  She hurt my feelings..."

The list could go on, but I think you get  the picture.

Sometimes the demands of God are difficult, uncomfortable and can get on your nerves.

The minister went on to say that it is during these times that we have to trust a God that we cannot trace.  Easier said than  done, but God never promised us a rose garden.  He just said that He'd help us endure the thorns.

Poor Sadie.  She's one of the ones that Sojourner and nem left behind. 

In their dust.

She knew the path of freedom, but she didn't take it.  She was too afraid. 

So she stayed, bound by chains that were in her mind more tightly than they were around her ankles.  Tied by ropes that no one could see.

Sadie was so used to be being down and she was afraid to look up. 

But don't judge her. There are times in our lives when we've suffered from the Sadie syndrome.

Times when opportunity knocks, but we're afraid to answer.

Times when a prayer is answered, but we're afraid to recognize it.

Times when a change has come, but we're afraid to embrace it.

I had one of those times recently.  I'd been wishing and hoping for something and I got it!  But then I wondered if I should take it, and you know what I call that?

I call that crazy!

But I honestly felt like a "Sadie", a woman who was afraid to take a chance on something better.  Content to accept the status quo, while secretly knowing that I'm so much better than that.

I'm not Sadie.  And neither are you.

What's your Sadie syndrome keeping you from doing or believing?

About two weeks ago I woke in the middle of the night and... wait.  Let me say this first…
 
That night I read something on Facebook that said that once you love someone you never stop loving them.  You may no longer trust them or like them, but you still love them.  And I immediately thought of one person who I'd once been very close to, and believed this to be true.  I will probably always love them, regardless of the horrible mess they put me through.
 
OK, now back to the story...

So I woke up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago with the profound feeling that I should somehow let this person know that they were forgiven.  It was as if a voice was speaking to me, I think it was God.  I’ve heard it before. 

It is very plain, nothing fancy or frightening, but it is intense and it just “speaks.”  I fell right back to sleep, but I thought about it again when I woke up.  And I asked why I needed to do this.  And what did I want this person to do as a result of it.  The response I got was that doing this was not for them,  but that I was doing this for myself.
 
So I sent the bum, I mean this person, a text just saying that it was unfortunate what we went through and that I hoped they were healthy and happy and well and moving on with their life.
 
You know I’ve been having trouble sleeping, but ever since then I’ve been sleeping like a baby. 
 
Anyway, I’ve yet to hear anything from this person and I even wondered if they still had the same phone number.  So just now I called the number, first blocking my number, of course, and they answered.

So they got the text but I guess they're still too angry or too embarrassed to respond.  It really doesn’t matter, I didn’t send it for them.  I sent it for me.
 

Isn't it funny how a bittersweet ending sometimes really is a happy new beginning in disguise?

The lesson I'm learning is that I must stop trying to fix people, situations, and relationships that I did not break.

I had dinner with my friend, Renee, a few days ago.

Renee is one of those people who can dance in the rain, if you know what I mean.  She seems to meet her challenges head on and she has what it takes to get through them.  She's smart and kind and I always enjoy talking with her.

Her most recent challenge was a fire in her condominium building.  I saw the report on television, most of her friends did.  And we all worried and wondered how our friend was making out.

In true Renee form, she made it through. 

While at dinner a few days ago, she told me about how she was displaced for a few weeks, and how grateful she was to the friend she stayed with.  She said that she now knows more about fire safety that she ever thought she'd need to know and how she'll have a "ready kit" in place just in case something like that should ever happen again.

Then we went a little deeper into our discussion.

Renee told me that the fire may have happened because God needed to destroy some things, to temporarily displace some people so that He could begin something new. 

Speaking figuratively, of course, but we discussed the fact that maybe God wanted to shake things up, to adjust the location of some minds and feelings, rearrange some emotions so that changes would occur.

Maybe He needed to ready the ground with the power of some fresh ashes.

You know that when something is burned, the residue left is the ash.  So most fires produce ashes. 

Some people discard the ashes, but if you add them to your garden, you'll change the pH balance of your soil.   Pests that used to hang around will no longer find a welcomed home there.  The right kind of ashes provide your garden with the nutrients it needs to grow -- and you'll often grow things that were before impossible to grow or maintain.

Now, apply this to your life. 

Although our fires may not be the kind that Renee experienced, consider your fire as a challenge you've faced.  The death of a family member, friend or friendship, a divorce, the loss of a job, they're all fires that get our attention and leave  "ashes" behind in the aftermath.

In those ashes, lies the power to change the atmosphere of your life.  Your pH balance, if you will, is adjusted so that new experiences can blossom and old "pests" (like worry, doubt, fear, even some people) can no longer survive. 

Thanks to the ashes, we're able to GROW like never before, enlarge our territories, and find that we can try and accomplish things previously thought impossible. 

Isn't it great to know a God who can take residue from a fire and make something promising and new?  He never ceases to amaze me.

What are you doing with YOUR ashes?

Thanks, Renee, for helping me to see the power in our ashes.