This is my friend, Lattice Jenel Shaw ... one of my best friends in the world.
I met Lattice when I was 18 years old. We were entering Marycrest dormatory, our hearts filled with excitement and probably a little bit of fear. It was our freshman year of college and this marked the first time we were going to be really and truly living away from home.
Perhaps our eyes met because we were among the few Black faces in the crowd, but I think it was deeper than that. I think our eyes met because we were destined to be friends and somewhere, deep down inside, we knew it.
We ended up in dorm rooms right across the hall from each other that freshman year and we developed a bond that was tight. We laughed at the same things, shared a love of music and dance and writing, we even had the same exact major. Lattice and I supported and cared for each other deeply. She very quickly became my friend. Sophmore and junior years we were roomies. Senior year we both moved back to the dorm and had single rooms, but we continued to spend a lot of time together. I was often in her room, she was often in mine.
I was on Facebook all day on yesterday looking for her, but...
When we graduated I don't remember either of us shedding a tear. We knew that, although we wouldn't see each other on a daily basis, we would keep in touch -- and we did. We wrote letters and called each other frequently. A few times we recorded ourselves speaking to the other and sent the casette tape, allowing us to hear each other's voice. You gotta remember, this was before the days of "unlimited calling" and certainly before the days of emails and texts. But our bond was tight, we found a way to stay in touch.
There was a period when we didn't communicate as often, but I always knew she was there and she always knew I was here. When we would talk, it was as if time had stood still, we simply picked up from where we left off. And, oddly enough, when I'd call her or she'd call me, we both could sense that we'd be hearing from the other, we'd been thinking about each other and knew it was time to connect.
I was on Facebook all day on yesterday looking for her, but...
Then we realized that we were both on Facebook and it was on! I'd look for her daily posts and she'd look for mine. We'd have long conversations on Facebook, discussing our current lives, our next moves, and discussing our relationship with God. Lattice was a very spiritual person and she was anxious and willing to share her faith with me and with countless others.
In many ways, Lattice and Facebook were synonymous to me. I'd seldom think of one without also thinking of the other.
That's why I was on Facebook all day yesterday looking for her, but...
She wasn't there. She was nowhere to be found. Lattice passed away just a few days ago.
I learned of her passing on Facebook. I didn't want to believe the words on my screen, couldn't believe that my friend of so many years was gone. "This couldn't be true," I thought, "how could Lattice be gone just... like... that?"
After seeing that shocking post, I called and texted her, fully expecting her to respond and tell me that someone was playing a hard and cruel joke. But that wouldn't be the case. She was gone and my heart broke. Soon I realized that I wasn't alone. Hearts were breaking all over the country.
Facebook lit up at the news of her passing. Her life touched more people than I ever imagined. She truly was an inspiration, a friend, a confidante and a source of encouragement for many. Her reach was wide, I truly hope she knew that, even if I didn't.
Now when I go to Facebook, it feels less bright and less fun. It feels dull and empty now that Lattice isn't there.
In time, I'll realize that though I'll never again find Lattice there, I can look at her posts and smile as I remember her humor and her sweet demeanor. I'll remember her love of life and of people. Most importantly, I will remember the times and secrets we shared.
Facebook will become fun again. But it will never be quite the same for me.
For now, rest well, Lattice, job well done. I'll love you always. Save a spot for me.
I met Lattice when I was 18 years old. We were entering Marycrest dormatory, our hearts filled with excitement and probably a little bit of fear. It was our freshman year of college and this marked the first time we were going to be really and truly living away from home.
Perhaps our eyes met because we were among the few Black faces in the crowd, but I think it was deeper than that. I think our eyes met because we were destined to be friends and somewhere, deep down inside, we knew it.
We ended up in dorm rooms right across the hall from each other that freshman year and we developed a bond that was tight. We laughed at the same things, shared a love of music and dance and writing, we even had the same exact major. Lattice and I supported and cared for each other deeply. She very quickly became my friend. Sophmore and junior years we were roomies. Senior year we both moved back to the dorm and had single rooms, but we continued to spend a lot of time together. I was often in her room, she was often in mine.
I was on Facebook all day on yesterday looking for her, but...
When we graduated I don't remember either of us shedding a tear. We knew that, although we wouldn't see each other on a daily basis, we would keep in touch -- and we did. We wrote letters and called each other frequently. A few times we recorded ourselves speaking to the other and sent the casette tape, allowing us to hear each other's voice. You gotta remember, this was before the days of "unlimited calling" and certainly before the days of emails and texts. But our bond was tight, we found a way to stay in touch.
There was a period when we didn't communicate as often, but I always knew she was there and she always knew I was here. When we would talk, it was as if time had stood still, we simply picked up from where we left off. And, oddly enough, when I'd call her or she'd call me, we both could sense that we'd be hearing from the other, we'd been thinking about each other and knew it was time to connect.
I was on Facebook all day on yesterday looking for her, but...
Then we realized that we were both on Facebook and it was on! I'd look for her daily posts and she'd look for mine. We'd have long conversations on Facebook, discussing our current lives, our next moves, and discussing our relationship with God. Lattice was a very spiritual person and she was anxious and willing to share her faith with me and with countless others.
In many ways, Lattice and Facebook were synonymous to me. I'd seldom think of one without also thinking of the other.
That's why I was on Facebook all day yesterday looking for her, but...
She wasn't there. She was nowhere to be found. Lattice passed away just a few days ago.
I learned of her passing on Facebook. I didn't want to believe the words on my screen, couldn't believe that my friend of so many years was gone. "This couldn't be true," I thought, "how could Lattice be gone just... like... that?"
After seeing that shocking post, I called and texted her, fully expecting her to respond and tell me that someone was playing a hard and cruel joke. But that wouldn't be the case. She was gone and my heart broke. Soon I realized that I wasn't alone. Hearts were breaking all over the country.
Facebook lit up at the news of her passing. Her life touched more people than I ever imagined. She truly was an inspiration, a friend, a confidante and a source of encouragement for many. Her reach was wide, I truly hope she knew that, even if I didn't.
Now when I go to Facebook, it feels less bright and less fun. It feels dull and empty now that Lattice isn't there.
In time, I'll realize that though I'll never again find Lattice there, I can look at her posts and smile as I remember her humor and her sweet demeanor. I'll remember her love of life and of people. Most importantly, I will remember the times and secrets we shared.
Facebook will become fun again. But it will never be quite the same for me.
For now, rest well, Lattice, job well done. I'll love you always. Save a spot for me.
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