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What do I call these people?

1/24/2015

4 Comments

 
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Last night I received a phone call from an ex in-law.  But is there even such a thing? 

When you get a divorce you get an ex-husband, but what do you call the people who were once such an important part of your life and are now no longer?

I'd always hoped that I'd be able to call them "friends", but that's not the case with most of them.  My divorce has been so ugly that, unfortunately, family members have had to take sides and most of my ex-husband's family have sided with him.  That makes sense, especially since I haven't been particularly friendly with them since the split, but it did sorta surprise me. 

You see, during our marriage, I was always the "level-headed, kind-hearted wife".  These people shared confidential things with me that they didn't share with my husband and seemed to genuinely care about me.  But when it came time to take sides, blood won out, and these people are now in the enemy camp.  So what do I call them?

My former mother-in-law is obviously struggling with the same question.  She sent me a Christmas card last month, but she didn't sign it.  She wrote "Love," but then she didn't put a name.  Poor thing, I guess she's dealing with her own identity crisis.  Is she still  "Mom" or is she Mrs. "my former last name", who the heck is she?  She's not sure and, quite frankly, neither am I.

Divorce forces us to deal with some strange issues, doesn't it?



4 Comments
Suzanne L Anderson
2/7/2015 11:45:47 pm

Took a long time for me but through social media I am rebuilding these relationships

Reply
Gail
2/13/2015 04:19:02 am

That's a good thing. I'm happy about that.

Reply
Nikki P(Mall of America Partner)
2/9/2015 12:01:47 pm

The name that you call the ex-in-laws is "gone and good riddance." Everyone is not in your corner and that is fine. It is a blessing when people show you who they are as humans. You can make better decisions about the relationships you want in your life. Relationships that are healthy, productive, and fulfilling. Standing Still is Good medicine to help heal deep wounds.

Reply
Gail
2/13/2015 04:18:16 am

You're right -- it really is a blessing when people show you who they are. Thanks for sharing that.

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